Office Commandments (Part 2)

When exiting the elevator, thou shall move thou fat ass as people exit to make room for thou co-workers.

Amen.

The bonus illustrated version.......

Cast of Characters

Bubble #1: Guy that looks familiar - but I just can't place him

Bubble #2: My old boss

Bubble #3: The HR admin - she smells like cigarettes

Bubble #4: The Girl on 6 that always looks like she is going to the club instead of work

Bubble #5: The skank with the burnt popcorn yesterday

Bubble #6: Some skinny chick

Bubble #7: Me - trying to get to the 10th floor

Bubble #8: Fat Guy from the 17th floor

Bubble #9: Intern

We enter at the lobby, filling the elevator to it's 9(ish) person capacity. We smile dimly at first and then avoid eye contact at all costs.

Several riders exit at their respective floors. Notice how I get pinned in the corner (I am bubble #7 - pay attention!) between fatty #8 and Club-wear chick #4. Smokey the Admin (#3) stays put and Burnt Popcorn (#5) move forward to give Fatty a little breathing room. Meanwhile, Clubwear is texting her bff whilst I attempt to burn holes in the back of her tube top with my eyes.

At my floor, I have to physically move Clubwear out of my way as she has now answered a call on her cell and is ignoring my polite "excuse me." I am met with a dirty look as I stumble out of the elevator after tripping over Fatty's lunch bag. Burnt Popcorn says "Good Morning" as she turns toward her cube carrying a big box of Orville Redenbacher. Smokey in HR coughs and the Elevator door closes.

fin.