Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas Poem with bonus video

The following poem is best understood knowing that my roommate, Christina, goes by "Stina." She calls me "Dizzle." Our Dogs are named Jed and Mojo and my cat's name is Karma. Please enjoy and make sure you watch the video at the end.

Merry Christmas!

A Few Nights Before Christmas By Kristin Welch

A few nights before Christmas up in the hizzle

Nobody stirred, Not Stina, Not Dizzle

The stockings were hung by the chimney with tape

As snow fell covering the cityscape

Stina and Dizzle snuggled up in their sweats,

With dreams that Santa could settle their debts

“There is too much to do and not enough money”

Dizzle declared, “It’s not even funny”

Forced snuggling commenced with Stina and Jed

As days of prosperity danced in her head

The night took the sky and the girls closed their eyes

They slept through the night, then awoke with surprise

Karma jumped off the sink, making a clatter

Jed jumped out of his skin, then ran to get at her

Mojo then joined in the chase for the kitty

The once quiet day began to get shitty

Stina and Dizzle Shouted loud and clear

“Jed, Mojo, NO – GET OVER HERE!”

Jed reluctantly obeyed his command,

While Mojo, as usual, took defiant stand.

“My dog is an asshole,” Dizzle decried

She got out of bed, feeling defied

To the computer, Dizzle then went

Her facebook was checked, and e-mails were sent

Stina awoke, made her way to the kitchen

Grabbed some coffee, and started her bitchin’

“We need to go shopping, but I don’t wanna go!”

Stina lamented, as she eyeballed the snow

“I’t nersty outside, but it has to be done,

Let’s get dressed and get on with this fun!”

Dizzle got up, and walked towards her room

The intent was to change to shopping costume

She walked through the doorway and what did she see?

From the ceiling fell liquid resembling pee.

“Oh Crap!” Dizzle screamed, then came wild laughter

What else to you do when it rains from the rafters?

Stina declared, “ we must call the landlord,”

Dizzle – grab towels to protect the floorboards.”

“My carpet is soaked, can you grab the bucket?”

“Jed,, don’t drink from the puddlle – Ah whatever – Fuck it!”

The cursing grew louder as the girls looked for answers

This was a huge problem, cracks were spreading like cancer.

The landlord arrived, A hero for sure!

If someone could fix it, he’d find a cure!

Up to the roof, with shovel in tow,

The landlord would rid the roof of it’s snow

The ceiling stopped dripping, but the room was still wet

For the weekend, this was as good as it’d get.

For Dizzle and Stina, far and away

It had already been one hell of a day

As the landlord left and drove out of sight,

Stina said, ”Merry Christmas Dizzle, let’s get drunk tonight!"