Nominees for the worst dressed list

Some might say that I have a mild to moderate obsession with Bravo's Project Runway. I fell in love with the show after watching the first episode of the first season. Though I have no fashion sense whatsoever, I was immediately aching to be Jay McCarroll's "fag hag." I wanted to go hang out in the work room at Parson's School for Design and make catty remarks about inferior design talent. I became the fashion critic equivalent of a backseat driver as I watched and commented on the "lay of the fabric" or the color campatability of the whatchoomacallit with the light reflection against the whosawhats. I had NO idea what I was talking about - and I didn't care. I was hooked.

Many people love the show, so my adoration may not be such a big deal were it not for my complete lack of fashion sense. I wish I was kidding, but I literally have no idea how to dress myself. I have no sense of style, and the thought of shopping often makes me nauseous. Part of my current fashion retardation stems from the fact that i have gained some weight (especially since not smoking has given me the urge to eat constantly) and don't particularly revel in the thought of buying clothes in my current size. That said, I get home from work on Wednesdays - put on fleece sweatpants & a t-shirt, whip my hair into a ponytail and proceed to become the most vicious couch critic in the history of fashion.

"That hem is atrocious!," I might say or "I can't believe he would send THAT down the runway!"

Of course, if any of the budding designers on the show were able to see me and my standard uniform of jeans, tank top and a cardigan, they would probably scream little girly screams whilst scratching at their eyes in order to avoid having such bad fashion permanently burned into their retinas. Someone that willingly buys clothes from Old Navy or *gasp* Target (such as myself) are probably a creature from their worst nightmare.

Thing is, even if I had the money to spend on designer duds, I would have no idea what to buy. Knowing me, if someone were to actually give me money and tell me to go buy something "fashion forward" - I would end up looking like this



rather than this.



Where do I seek help for this complete and total style stupidity? Can trend be learned?