Thursday, February 21, 2008

The fever makes me ramble on and on

Few people know that I was a woman's studies minor in college. My involvement in the program started as a conversation with my mother one afternoon over the phone.

Mom: "When are you going to choose a minor to compliment your worthless awesome Communications Degree?"

Me: "I have been great, thanks for asking! A little low on groceries, and the laundry is piling up, but that's why they make Ramen and Febreeze, right?"

Mom: "Ha,ha smartass. I am not going to keep helping you with grocery money and the like if you don't pick a minor. Why don't you minor in Marketing or something?"

Me: "Yes, mom, things are going very well with the roommate. We plan on having a kegger this weekend where I hope to pass out in a pool of my own vomit - wanna come?"

Mom: "Girl, you better LISTEN to me if you want to stay alive, much less stay in school"

Anyhoo, I promised to consider choosing a minor even though it completely ruined my plan of supplementing required courses with Phys Ed classes like "Relaxation 101" (Note: Relaxation was a real class but only offered at 7am - there is nothing relaxing about 7am when in college). I poured over the course books scouring my options for a chosen minor. After about 10 minutes of half-assed interest, I didn't see anything that tickled my fancy, so I gave up. A month later, when my mother called and threatened to murder me, I got a bit more serious.

I wanted to take a variety of classes thus ruling out a marketing minor (plus I would have to take more math - blech). I wanted to piss off my mother while at the same time doing exactly what she told me to do - and so I landed on Women's Studies. I only had to take a couple required courses (Women's History) and then I had my choice of many other disciplines. I could learn a little about a lot and confuse the hell out of my mother at the same time for added bonus.

I ended up taking a myriad of Psyc and Sociology classes along with a couple gems like "Growing Up Female" (no joke). For the most part, I really enjoyed my time in the courses and met a lot of really great ladies. I actually came to love the word "feminist" and I am not afraid to identify myself with the movement. No matter how much I call my friends "bitch," "slut," or "Ho," I say it with love and affection (you bitches know I'm talkin' bout you).

Long story boring, I told you the above to add something more personal to back up my disgust with this website. (At the top click on portfolio - then click on each thumbnail pic to enlarge. Mouse over the pic to see the "before") Anyone else repulsed? I know that this sort of thing happens all the time, but it doesn't take away the stench that this site expels. I also think that most of the subjects look better "before." What is so wrong with freckles? Also - check out how they completely eliminated the muscle tone out of Julia Stiles' arm. WTF?

Another feminist fun fact: Did you know that when I was searching for a job, I got 75% more calls on my resume and online applications after taking my Women's Studies minor off my resume? Kinda effed up, huh?

3 comments:

becky said...

Wow - that site really is disgusting. I must say that it makes me feel just a little bit better about myself, though... I had no idea that they could make that many changes to a picture. And just what *is* wrong with freckles?!!!

"I wanted to piss off my mother while at the same time doing exactly what she told me to do" - lol

Aunt Becky said...

When I told my own parents that I'd wanted to take a similar minor, they responded with "if you want us to pay for college, you will not do that."

So, I had no minor. None. Nada.

Anonymous said...

It's amazing what you can do with enough money and no self-esteem.

I'm sure she enjoyed the new major. heehee