The following poem is best understood knowing that my roommate, Christina, goes by "Stina." She calls me "Dizzle." Our Dogs are named Jed and Mojo and my cat's name is Karma. Please enjoy and make sure you watch the video at the end.
Merry Christmas!
A Few Nights Before Christmas By Kristin Welch
A few nights before Christmas up in the hizzle
Nobody stirred, Not Stina, Not Dizzle
The stockings were hung by the chimney with tape
As snow fell covering the cityscape
Stina and Dizzle snuggled up in their sweats,
With dreams that Santa could settle their debts
“There is too much to do and not enough money”
Dizzle declared, “It’s not even funny”
Forced snuggling commenced with Stina and Jed
As days of prosperity danced in her head
The night took the sky and the girls closed their eyes
They slept through the night, then awoke with surprise
Karma jumped off the sink, making a clatter
Jed jumped out of his skin, then ran to get at her
Mojo then joined in the chase for the kitty
The once quiet day began to get shitty
Stina and Dizzle Shouted loud and clear
“Jed, Mojo, NO – GET OVER HERE!”
Jed reluctantly obeyed his command,
While Mojo, as usual, took defiant stand.
“My dog is an asshole,” Dizzle decried
She got out of bed, feeling defied
To the computer, Dizzle then went
Her facebook was checked, and e-mails were sent
Stina awoke, made her way to the kitchen
Grabbed some coffee, and started her bitchin’
“We need to go shopping, but I don’t wanna go!”
Stina lamented, as she eyeballed the snow
“I’t nersty outside, but it has to be done,
Let’s get dressed and get on with this fun!”
Dizzle got up, and walked towards her room
The intent was to change to shopping costume
She walked through the doorway and what did she see?
From the ceiling fell liquid resembling pee.
“Oh Crap!” Dizzle screamed, then came wild laughter
What else to you do when it rains from the rafters?
Stina declared, “ we must call the landlord,”
Dizzle – grab towels to protect the floorboards.”
“My carpet is soaked, can you grab the bucket?”
“Jed,, don’t drink from the puddlle – Ah whatever – Fuck it!”
The cursing grew louder as the girls looked for answers
This was a huge problem, cracks were spreading like cancer.
The landlord arrived, A hero for sure!
If someone could fix it, he’d find a cure!
Up to the roof, with shovel in tow,
The landlord would rid the roof of it’s snow
The ceiling stopped dripping, but the room was still wet
For the weekend, this was as good as it’d get.
For Dizzle and Stina, far and away
It had already been one hell of a day
As the landlord left and drove out of sight,
Stina said, ”Merry Christmas Dizzle, let’s get drunk tonight!"
2 comments:
OH NO! That poem was great, but I'm sorry you have water all in your room. Happy drinking and dry-ing. Har, har, har.
Poor things. :( I hope you got some nice shiznit at least!
Post a Comment