Sunday, September 21, 2008

10 Things I Learned On My Vegas Vacation

1. My uncle has one of the most awesome mullets I have ever seen. I couldn't be prouder of his unashamed yet undeniable commitment to sporting one of America's most mocked hairstyles.

2. I forgot how much pain is involved in getting a tattoo...not that I got one or anything.*

3. Slot machines are evil money eating robots. Luckily, I cannot be tricked by their shiny, sparkly exteriors.**

4. Despite my intentions to get married to an Elvis Impersonator (The young, hot one) BY an Elvis Impersonator (the old, fat one), I was not successful. Next time I will set my sights on something more attainable, like getting a raging case of syphilis.

5. Cirque Du Soleil's "Love" will change your life.

6. Sometimes you just need to break away from the group and spend a day by the pool. Screw them. I'm tan now.

7. I have a much stronger appreciation for Chicago's anti-smoking laws now. Since quitting last October (Ooohh...the 1 year anniversary is close!), I have become one of those people that "stink eyes" the sidewalk smokers downtown. I recognize the hypocrisy in that I only recently was one of them, but damn...my hair still stinks!

8. Girls want to meet me! In my room! And can be there in 20 minutes! (Something to keep in mind for next time, when I try to get an STD that makes it burn when I pee!)

9. Never leave your cell phone in the rental car, turn in the rental car, get on a plane and fly home. (My dumbassedness astounds me sometimes)

10. I am no longer of the age where "clubbing" even remotely sounds like fun...and I am 100% okay with that.

Viva Las Vegas!





*yes I did.
**yes I can.

8 comments:

paisana said...

Will you post pictures of your new ink?

Aunt Becky said...

You'd better have gotten a tattoo saying "I Love Becky."

KC said...

Paisana - I actually just expanded what I already have. I am working on the worlds largest tramp stamp. I will ask my roomie to help me get a pic since it's on my back.

Becky - I am getting that one on my forehead...the same day you get a matching one that reads "I love KC"

Anonymous said...

I want to be your uncle for Halloween. I love mullets.

SaneAndSingle said...

Oh "clubbing" in Vegas is harsh too! During my trip to Vegas I spent half the time partying with the slot machines and giant daiquiris and the other half recovering from said partying!

Anonymous said...

Ohhh...STD's aren't just good for burning pee...no siree...some have leakage...

ms. bliss said...

Viva las vegas!

Erin said...

Sounds like fun. Yay for tramp stamps!