Superbowl Monday

I have a WICKED case of the second-day-stupids after a few too many beers on Saturday and Sunday. Either way, it was worth it. The Superbowl proved to be entirely more interesting than I could have imagined as the Cardinals managed to step it up and keep it close. I was also pleasantly surprised that Bruce wasn't as boring as I thought he would be. He even managed to tea-bag all of America during the halftime show.



While I did watch the game, being in advertising makes the commercials a bit more topical in my office on Superbowl Monday. We don't chat about the game - we analyze the commercials. I have to say, HUGE disappointment this year. My favorite ended up being one of the e-trade commercials. I hate that stupid baby and maybe it's just that I have a special little place tucked in my heart for Mr. Mister.- but this was was just too good...



I also liked this one from Monster.com...



The Doritos ad elicited a chuckle, but the crotch shot at the end was a little gratuitous and predictable.



Budweiser was shockingly disappointing. Several ads were focused on bringing back that "America Pride" bit that they have been fostering for so long. I'm a little surprised that they continue down sentimental street after all the backlash surrounding their takeover by foreign InBev. Maybe it's just me, but they just didn't resonate this year.



Even their "funny spots" didn't do much for me.



I mean...what happened to the comedy gold they brought us in the past? Remember this gem from 2006?



Pepsi did alright this year with the SNL MacGruber spoof...



But they fell flat with the Bob Dylan/Will.i.am spot. I mean, really? Will.i.am is the next Bob Dylan? Just because you set a Barack Obama speech to music and get your Celeb friends to sing along - it DOES NOT make you the voice of a generation. Also - Jack Black is NOT the new Belushi.



I think this one may have been the biggest loser of the night. What were they thinking? What kind of douchebag thinks that being insulting is the key to selling a product?



Anybody else have any faves?

Christmas Poem with bonus video

The following poem is best understood knowing that my roommate, Christina, goes by "Stina." She calls me "Dizzle." Our Dogs are named Jed and Mojo and my cat's name is Karma. Please enjoy and make sure you watch the video at the end.

Merry Christmas!

A Few Nights Before Christmas By Kristin Welch

A few nights before Christmas up in the hizzle

Nobody stirred, Not Stina, Not Dizzle

The stockings were hung by the chimney with tape

As snow fell covering the cityscape

Stina and Dizzle snuggled up in their sweats,

With dreams that Santa could settle their debts

“There is too much to do and not enough money”

Dizzle declared, “It’s not even funny”

Forced snuggling commenced with Stina and Jed

As days of prosperity danced in her head

The night took the sky and the girls closed their eyes

They slept through the night, then awoke with surprise

Karma jumped off the sink, making a clatter

Jed jumped out of his skin, then ran to get at her

Mojo then joined in the chase for the kitty

The once quiet day began to get shitty

Stina and Dizzle Shouted loud and clear

“Jed, Mojo, NO – GET OVER HERE!”

Jed reluctantly obeyed his command,

While Mojo, as usual, took defiant stand.

“My dog is an asshole,” Dizzle decried

She got out of bed, feeling defied

To the computer, Dizzle then went

Her facebook was checked, and e-mails were sent

Stina awoke, made her way to the kitchen

Grabbed some coffee, and started her bitchin’

“We need to go shopping, but I don’t wanna go!”

Stina lamented, as she eyeballed the snow

“I’t nersty outside, but it has to be done,

Let’s get dressed and get on with this fun!”

Dizzle got up, and walked towards her room

The intent was to change to shopping costume

She walked through the doorway and what did she see?

From the ceiling fell liquid resembling pee.

“Oh Crap!” Dizzle screamed, then came wild laughter

What else to you do when it rains from the rafters?

Stina declared, “ we must call the landlord,”

Dizzle – grab towels to protect the floorboards.”

“My carpet is soaked, can you grab the bucket?”

“Jed,, don’t drink from the puddlle – Ah whatever – Fuck it!”

The cursing grew louder as the girls looked for answers

This was a huge problem, cracks were spreading like cancer.

The landlord arrived, A hero for sure!

If someone could fix it, he’d find a cure!

Up to the roof, with shovel in tow,

The landlord would rid the roof of it’s snow

The ceiling stopped dripping, but the room was still wet

For the weekend, this was as good as it’d get.

For Dizzle and Stina, far and away

It had already been one hell of a day

As the landlord left and drove out of sight,

Stina said, ”Merry Christmas Dizzle, let’s get drunk tonight!"

We were all there once

For me - it was Rider Strong from "Boy Meets World" or Brandon Lee form "The Crow" (thanks for the reminder Paisana)or Johnny Depp...Hell, it's STILL Johnny Depp



Who did it for you as a pre-teen?

Like bird watching - only not at all.

One of the upsides to living in a large metropolitan area is People Watching. Major cities provide People Watching greatness at a level rivaled only by airports. Thing is, after living in a city for so long, you become desensitized to most of the amazing things you encounter on a daily basis. It's only when I am with people from out of town that I realize how much I ignore my surroundings. I will be power-walking my way down the street, expertly navigating the sidewalk cracks, hell-on-heels grates and unidentified piles of nasty - all while sending an e-mail and simultaneously telling my friend about the “crazy day” I just had at the office. At the crux of my titillating tale, I will inadvertently realize that I have lost my friend…to some homeless dude.

(Note to people from outside of big cities: When someone who appears as though they have not showered in a few years inquires to whether they may ask you a question – keep walking. If you are a slave to etiquette, you may politely say” no.” However, if they begin to follow you, keep walking. Do not make eye contact, do not slow down. Do not pass go, do not give the man $2. This is not because the person might hurt you (though I wouldn't rule that out), but rather, because this person is banking that they will annoy you into giving them money – more money for those of you that give him the $2. Forget your manners and keep walking…besides, if you stop to talk to Captain Crappedhispants, you will miss the best part of my awesome story.)

I don’t want to lose my friends to homeless dudes, but I also don’t want them (or me) to miss out on some prime People Watching opportunities. You just have to know how to do it right. Your first order of business is to find a good place to be. The middle of the sidewalk is not a good place to be. Think of People Watching like any other activity. It's better if you find an appropriate location. I mean, sure, I could take a crap while I walk around and stare at skyscrapers, but wouldn’t it be better (and ultimately more pleasant) if I just took the time to find proper facilities? Location is everything, baby. For People Watching, benches, grassy areas, and leaning against the side of a building are all excellent options. However, if the weather is nice, consider sidewalk seating at an outdoor café. That way, you can eat and converse about your sightings.

Next, talk about what you see. If we are People Watching and you see a group of people with no pants…you better point that out. Better yet, make a game out of your People Watching experiences. Below are some of my favorites;

1. Guess the Occupation: Just as it sounds - as people walk by, try to figure out what they do for a living. Make it fun. Is the short guy in the brown loafers a salesman or a gigolo? He may really be a sales guy, but wouldn’t it be cooler if that incoming call was from a woman desperate to pay for what’s underneath his Dockers? Nice pants, indeed.

2. Turn it into a drinking game: This obviously works best from an outdoor café or a friend’s balcony. Every time you see some douche with one of those Bluetooth headsets – drink. Drink twice if he is yelling at the person on the other end of the line. Take a shot for every cab driver that freaks out.

3. Gay or Foreign: This is one that can even be played while walking. Fashion can be tricky. Consider the following photo example and ask yourself…is that dude gay or foreign?

This is a game I often play with my gay friends. It's amazing how "Gaydar" flies right out the window once a European accent negates the fashion cues. I also especially enjoy this particular game. The same guy could be perceived many different ways depending on fashion choice. Again, consider the following photo example;

In a suit, the guy looks great. Fashionable and ready for an event. This look is very "now" and neither the guy's sexuality nor nationality are really peaking my curiosity. He may look a little too Ashton Kutcher-ish for my taste, but that's besides the point. It's not like I'd kick him out of bed or anything.

Same guy in the 70's print button up and hat? Totally foreign. I can hear the accent now. He would never dress this way at home, but he is visiting a foreign city and was mislead by window displays. Feeling as though he may not be able to attract American women in a t-shirt and jeans, this guy was lead astray by an overzealous hourly employee at a designer resale shop. With an American accent - total d-bag. But now peekture heem wiss moor oov a frawnch acceent. Kinda do-able, no?

In the third outfit - totally gay.

See how fun this can be?

Got my Mojo Workin'

Been a while since I gushed about my dog, huh? Isn't he the cutest?



Credit goes to my roomie for the pictures...this is her dog Jed...



Our apartment is full of adorable.

10 Things I Learned On My Vegas Vacation

1. My uncle has one of the most awesome mullets I have ever seen. I couldn't be prouder of his unashamed yet undeniable commitment to sporting one of America's most mocked hairstyles.

2. I forgot how much pain is involved in getting a tattoo...not that I got one or anything.*

3. Slot machines are evil money eating robots. Luckily, I cannot be tricked by their shiny, sparkly exteriors.**

4. Despite my intentions to get married to an Elvis Impersonator (The young, hot one) BY an Elvis Impersonator (the old, fat one), I was not successful. Next time I will set my sights on something more attainable, like getting a raging case of syphilis.

5. Cirque Du Soleil's "Love" will change your life.

6. Sometimes you just need to break away from the group and spend a day by the pool. Screw them. I'm tan now.

7. I have a much stronger appreciation for Chicago's anti-smoking laws now. Since quitting last October (Ooohh...the 1 year anniversary is close!), I have become one of those people that "stink eyes" the sidewalk smokers downtown. I recognize the hypocrisy in that I only recently was one of them, but damn...my hair still stinks!

8. Girls want to meet me! In my room! And can be there in 20 minutes! (Something to keep in mind for next time, when I try to get an STD that makes it burn when I pee!)

9. Never leave your cell phone in the rental car, turn in the rental car, get on a plane and fly home. (My dumbassedness astounds me sometimes)

10. I am no longer of the age where "clubbing" even remotely sounds like fun...and I am 100% okay with that.

Viva Las Vegas!





*yes I did.
**yes I can.

Shameless pimping

A very dear friend of mine has some art up for sale on etsy. Some of it is a little on the bizarre-o side, but there is no doubting her talent. If you are into unique and original peices - I urge you to check out her stuff. Her specialized etsy page can be found here. Her stuff is super-affordable and she may add some more peices soon.

You can blame her lack of page fanciness on me. Since she doesn't have easy access to a computer - I posted her stuff for her. Because I know nothing about art...I totally did not do her justice. Regardless...check it out.

I have her stuff in my place and so should you. She made my dog(and dining room) look pretty amazing...that is for sure.